I’ve noticed 3 books I read recently have a similar theme coursing through them about the self, and more specifically, how to battle against and win over the Ego. The books couldn’t be more different in theme, but address the concept of Ego similarly:
Writings of Carlos Casteneda (about his adventures with a Yaqui Indian Shaman, don Juan Matus, who takes peyote in the desert to achieve higher level of consciousness)
The Power of Now, by Eckhart Tolle (about finding peace through mindfulness— very Christian lens, and some smatterings of cultishness / snake oiliness as Deepak Chopra backed it; 16 million copies sold world wide. Some parts are insightful, a lot of it felt bleh)
The Rock Warrior’s Way, by Arno Ilgner (about being a better rock climber through mindfulness, non-judgement, and emptying the mind)
Some of these books offer varying amounts of wisdom and insight into achieving clarity and not letting emotions control one’s actions, but I found myself questioning the framing of the Ego as the enemy. In their classic interpretation of Ego, it is something to destroyed, to be slain. Don Juan, a Yaqui Indian shaman who is the sage and teacher in Carlos Castaneda’s writings, calls the Ego the “1000 headed dragon”.
According to their narratives, once you destroy the Ego, your true self can emerge. I struggle with this interpretation because I’m not sure that one can separate a “true self” from the Ego— the word self inherently relies on the concept of Ego.
I believe that the Ego and true being are intertwined — more like a tree that houses many animals and organisms — a collection of precious fruit, bugs, detritus and all. I see Ego as a container ecosystem that protects the being and helps one navigate reality. It is neither good nor bad. It simply exists. Like all containers, it inherently is defined by its limitations. It allows one to distinguish self from other — the Ego Tree grounds one to this world, allowing perspective in order to interact with others in this structure society has established.
However this Ego as an ecosystem, like all ecosystems, has flux- has spiders and pests that take up home in the canopy of the Ego Tree. It has termites that burrow into the trunk of the Ego Tree. It has parasites that feed off the Ego Tree.
Inside the Ego Tree is one’s True Being. This can be “free’ed” momentarily from the Ego Tree with some work — this has been my journey over the past few years, with the work of meditation and the incredible tools of psychedelic medicine.
However, I’m not sure if this freedom can or should even last indefinitely in order to live a full life. Just as the yin-yang exists because of each others’ existence, the True Being and Ego may need to exist in a harmony of sorts to fully be here now. I’m going to try it out and see.